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Have You Noticed How Home School Naysayers Only Want To Talk About Socialization?

Readers Forum:

They cannot talk about educating the children because by now everyone knows, even though they are only a small percent, that home schooled students are winning all the spelling and geography bees, and that they are getting into the best colleges and graduating with honors. They also know that public schools do such a poor job of teaching that students fail to learn good study habits they need to do well in college and they are graduating from high school unable to read their diplomas. By any standard it is obvious that home schooled students are far better educated. Therefore, the naysayers talk about learning social skills because social skills are almost impossible to qualify and measure. It makes you wonder how, when the country was lightly populated and most people lived on farms, how their great great grandparents and men such as Washington, Jefferson, and the other founding fathers ever developed social skills.

23 comments to Have You Noticed How Home School Naysayers Only Want To Talk About Socialization?

  • Kelley Anne

    MS.veronica_J makes the argument that sex education is one of the advantages of public schools. Per the “Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance — United States, 2005” by the Center for Disease Control, Department of Health and Human Services, almost two thirds of 12th grade high schools girls attending public schools have had sexual intercourse and over half are currently sexually active. See Tables 44 & 46, of the reference shown below.
    Isn’t it wonderful that public schools are teaching students to have sex. No doubt MS.veronica_J would prefer that sex education in public schools was even more effective so that 100 percent of the students were having sex. How dare parents of home schooled students not encourage their school age children to have sex.
    Takeashot makes the silly argument that home schooled can’t get math and science. My father is a scientist, physics, Ph.D. I guarantee he can teach those courses far better than public school teachers with the educations degrees they are required to have. He also claims that bees don’t pay the bills. The following proves otherwise:
    The geography bee grand prize is a $25,000 college scholarship. The runners-up are awarded smaller scholarships and the top 10 geography whizzes take home $500 prizes.
    The spelling bee winner hauls home $35,000 in cash, a trophy, a $2,500 savings bond and a set of Encyclopedia Brittanica reference books. All other contestants get an electronic copy of Merriam Webster’s dictionary and a cash prize that varies depending on when they were eliminated.

  • Hannah M

    This idea that kids who lack social skills do so because they are home educated is just an example of post hoc ergo propter hoc (or “false cause”).
    It isn’t home education that leads to poor social skills; it’s having parents who lack confidence in their own social skills and therefore, deliberately or not, pass onto their own kids that lack of confidence and feeling that the outside world is somehow “unsafe” and to be avoided.
    Trying to blame it on home education is about as logical as trying to blame the shirt you were wearing for the fact that twice you crashed the car and both times you were wearing the same shirt therefore it must be the shirt’s fault!

  • cherry_b

    true that. 🙂

  • Thrice Blessed

    What more can I add? You said it. They are grasping at straws!

  • angeld

    I agree with you completely. Socialization is the one thing my parents bring up constantly. They need to go to school to socialize. Not learn or get an education, but socialize. It makes no sense to me. I love the freedom home schooling gives us. We have traveled to many states in our great country and have learned so much about the people and places just by going there. We’ve been to Europe and South America on extended trips, all with our children. I think that is a much better education, than sitting in a classroom reading about it. My kids have no problems making friends wherever they go. I don’t need a school setting for that.
    Thanks for this question. I’m so tired of these people talking about home schooling, when they don’t know the first thing about it.

  • Anonymous

    To be HONEST about it, the SOCIALIZATION is what is RUING the public school system.
    All the girls TEXTING everyone on their cell phones instead of LEARNING in the class room.
    The chatter in the back of the room (socialization) is what is killing the GPA!
    FAct, undisputed FACT, segregated sexual schools are showing HIGHER GPAs
    That means ALL GIRLS and ALL BOYS schools are succeeding better than integrated co-ed schools.
    Now are ALL GIRLS and ALL BOYS schools breeding grounds for Bi-sexuality or Homosexulaity!
    I mean there is NO chance of having exchanged with someone of the opposite sex between 8 am and 4 pm.
    But the FACT remains such schools show a 20-30% improvement in GPA of the overall student body.
    The fact also remains most homeschoolers are religious and go to church and you have socialization at church. You sing in the choir. You have social events put on the by the church. You have friends from the church.
    Most homeschoolers are also invovled in weekend and evening sports.
    The naysayers are either ignorant, too stupid to teach their own kids, believers in the GREAT GOD TEACHER or are union members and union teachers who fear layoff and budget cuts due to homeschooling.
    You do know the district looses federal funding when a student leaves the school.
    Statisttics also show most homeschooler ahve the same 20-30% GPA boost as the sexaully segregated schools.

  • Jennifer W

    I laughed when I read your question, and replied, “I KNOW!”
    It was the funniest thing. When my daughter was just a baby, I wrote on the internet that I wanted to homeschool. A teacher in the chat room asked me, “What about socialization?” I asked her, “What about it?” She went on about how, in school, you are with kids all day and make lots of friends. I was really confused, and asked her, “When I was in school, we got in trouble for talking or passing notes. I got my socialization from going to the skating rink and mall. When did we start getting to socialize in school?” As time passed, I learned that socialization is the glue that sticks teachers together against homeschooling.
    Yes, we all might know some weird homeschooling family, but don’t we also know some weird public school family? As far as being in the dark, they didn’t come any more sheltered than I was, and I’m now glad of it! But I’ve been sure to prepare my daughter with the basics, and at 9 years old, when her friends come over, she often cooks for them!
    Man, I wonderful how she ever gets socialized, when all she has is this big group of kids from the neighborhood, that she hangs around with each day after school and all summer. I guess I need to send her to school to learn how to deal with bullies and why they have to lock the kids in to keep bad people out!

  • Dear Maria♥

    Amen to that… You pretty much said it all.
    Homeschoolers have social skills! It’s called dance class, or sports, theatre, church, etc.
    Besides, I’m going into ninth grade at a public school this year (coming out of homeschooling for four years) and I’m taking all the honors classes that the school can give an incoming freshman. And sometimes, homeschooling is better for the child than public school.

  • brambler

    You are so correct. I still think that the parents of homeschoolers need to get their kids into sports or other groups like scouts just to make them more rounded students. I mean you can be so smart but not know how to act around others. My step son is very bright but has zero social skills. If you don’t do it his mothers way they you are crazy. Now he is a college graduate and can’t hold a job because he can’t get along with others. He cannot respect other peoples opinions of anything. I think this problem is what people are concerned about when they worry about socialization. My step son is only one person but he won’t make it in the world outside his home. I have friends who home school and their kids get together with other homeschoolers and are in 4H and other groups. They are great kids……Like I’m sure you are….


    I only have one thing to add here. We get stuck on the fact that there are homeschooled kids that come out of homeschooling and are a shy and under "socialized" but did you ever go to think it was a personality thing? My sister was public schooled her whole life and she is for sure not one who would go to a party and be center of attention. One of my best friends was public schooled her whole life and was they type of person who will say two word to a new person…none if she could get away with it.

    Homeschooling nor govermental schooling does not socialize a person. It is part of thier persoanlity and who they are. You either are outgoing or you are not. Yes if you lived in a closet your whole life you might have a problem, but we have seen it with even some of the Omish childen theat end up in Main stream. Some stay noram others go wild. It is the sould God gave them when they were born. Now some make good or bad choices but we can not blame either education for lack of or over socializing

  • kypedsrn

    I homeschool my son now since he was beaten in school and the school tried to hide it from me, they went as far as washing his clothes before sending him home! We are not religous nuts or anything, we just want our son to have a SAFE education. Public schools like to try to make it seem as if all homeschoolers are bible thumping psychos that arent fit to attend public school – thats when they really start with the socialization talk. The truth is that my child wasnt safe and the school refused to protect him, I mean come on, this is 5th grade we were talking about and they couldnt protect him. What happens when he gets to highschool? Id rather keep him home and safe where I can control the environment and the education he gets, rather than allow him to be beaten and bloodied every day at public school. As for socialization, here in our city there is a huge homeschool movement and community that has tons of field trips and get togethers for the kids. Homeschool kids are better socialized than any public school kid I know. I have yet to see a homeschool boy with his pants down around his knees and his language not fit for public use- who wants that kind of socialization anyway?

  • MS.veron

    It all depends on the parents and how they home school you. I was not home schooled but I have nothing against it. However I have seen a girl that was home schooled go to our high school and I felt bad for the girl she seemed like she came from a different country. Her parents kept her in the dark from alot of stuff. Including sex ed.
    However if you have parents that do not lock you up then I think it is a fine way to educate a child. As a matter of fact it doesnt matter if you are home schooled or not it matters how your parents raise you.
    You can get into good colleges too if you go to public it’s just a matter on your parents teaching you to strive for success.
    Also the negative thinkers are just not opened to things they do not know of.

  • MSB

    I think people who worry about the socialization of homeschoolers might want to think about the socialization that goes on in schools. For some reason they can accept that there are public schoolers who are socially withdrawn, awkward, or socialized poorly so they are wild, oversexed, bullies, no self esteem, etc… but for some reason they’ll get up in arms over one shy homeschooler.

  • butmom26

    I would love to be able to home school my son, because of the SOCIALIZATION he will get at public schools. Every home schooled child I know is intelligent, articulate, and treasures to be around. Public school student’s don’t stand a chance at national competitions if there is a home schooler competing. Socialization isn’t an issue when children have sports, Sunday school, home school groups, friends, and every other thing that they have more time to do. Home schooled students are not leashed to a desk and never allowed outside as some people seem to think.

  • Anonymous

    Yup. Besides, I went to gov’t schools, & I don’t want my children anywhere near THAT kind of socialization.
    BTW, imo, the main problem that girl who got dumped in gov’t school after homeschooling had was that her parents dumped her off in that cesspool instead of finishing what they started.

  • tercente

    Public school officials use socialization as a last minute weapon of desperation. What they don’t like to tell or admit to someone though is how bullying, theft, and harassment affect socialization all to often. They preach how zero tolerance is impossible and little do they know it’s far from the truth.
    Our children desperately wanted to be home schooled because they were being bullied for being quiet in class and doing their work, they were being ripped off by other students and the school refused to do anything about it. Our boys also make it clear that teachers play favorites in class to the rich and/or attractive students. If you don’t fall under those two categories the likelihood of actually getting help in class from a teacher severely diminishes.

  • ~ME~

    People think public schools were always around, well guess what, they were not. Parents were long educating their own children way before some idiot ever conjured up the idea of basic mass education. They even survived! Some people have the very incorrect idea that the teacher always teaches the subject in which they mastered in, guess what, wrong again. A teacher is required to have a 4 year degree in anything and I am sorry but someone with a 4 year business degree does not qualify to teach my children. If our teachers were half as smart as the public school system professes they are, they would not need the same teacher manuals and answer keys, which by the way are the same answer keys homeschooling parents use. I really think that this so-called “socialization” babble is simply to hide the fact that they are so clueless as to the real things going on behind the scenes at our public school system. Parents want to remain uninvolved and clueless, less effort and worry for them. They say, “Let the more qualified teachers teach my child, they know what they are doing.” If only they knew how un-qualified this teacher really is. Some do not even have children and most have no compassion or care for our children, and no one will ever love my child as much as I, other than God. My children are involved in as many things as any public school child is, however, I have the ability to eliminate any negative or immoral influence from her life and guide them to make better choices for when they have to. I do not wish to have my daughter smoking, doing drugs and having sex in school—and this happens every day, I was once there and not too terribly long ago. Two days after the Virginia shootings a sophmore student at my sisters school was caught with a hit list and a loaded pistol trying to enter school. This is a small school in a nice neighborhood and about 50 miles from any big city or inner city, too close to home if you ask me. I think if the only thing they can babble on about is socialization, then let them go ahead and think as they please they have their right as to where they send their children, and I have that same right.

  • nicoleba

    Yeah, it’s annoying too. I can’t stand when people say things like that. It’s obvious that they don’t know what home school is all about. I think that people shouldn’t talk bad about something that they clearly don’t know anything about. It’s shameful to see people talk bad about others. I don’t like it one bit. I went to private school, public school, and now I home school. In private school the nuns were very mean to me. In public school the teachers didn’t teach well and paid no mind to students that needed help. The public school teachers that I had told me that if I couldn’t do something than that was my problem because they had already passed high school. When I went to public school teachers always said that we were not here to socialize with on another. So, it’s obvious that I prefer to home school now. I learn what I feel is important and I do it at my own pace. I plan what I have to do and get it done.

  • IZ

    Isn’t it interesting how many people answered this question and yet the media makes it out to be that the majority of society think homeschoolers are freaks?
    I agree with you completely. I have been homeschooling for 3 years and already see the difference between my son and his ‘properly socialized’ counterparts from public school.

  • flhomesc

    (Applauding) You really hit the nail on the head.
    Closed-minded people have to find something to pick on, and socialization seems to be one of the biggest things they have found.
    My daughter is involved in clubs, goes to library programs, has play dates with (egads!) other homeschool students! She also plays almost every day with friends who go to real school. Gee, my poor kid has a busy social calendar and time for real homemade food and an individualized education? I am horrible aren’t I?
    That being said – my Grandaddy was one of the many children who grew up on a farm. During certain farming seasons he wasn’t able to attend school because they were out picking/planting/tending crops. Infants & toddlers were kept on quilts under a tree with older siblings watching them while they took breaks. The family worked together and earned their meals together. My Grandaddy was one of the smartest men I’ll ever have the honor of knowing.
    He also told me how when he went to school they were in a one-room schoolhouse. Most of the children in their classes were (egads!) siblings and neighbors!
    Ignore the trolls… feeding them only makes things worse!

  • jewleit

    All i can add is if it is such a big deal why dont they make it easier/cheaper to gt the kids in groups or fix the school system.

  • Beauty&B

    Yes I think I have noticed that. I agree that our public education system just is not getting the job done. There is no challenge, nor do the teachers truly seem to care anymore. This is why I really think this country is in deep trouble. The government needs to be scaled back and people need to start being responsible for their children’s educations.

  • takeasho

    The main thing for me is that my parents like most parents couldn’t go into the advanced maths and sciences that I went into in high school. Home schooling would have severly hindered my learning. Spelling bees don’t pay the bills.

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