FORUM:
I've heard a lot of parents say they decided to homeschool their child since the learning will be individualized and will enable their child to learn at their own pace. Unlike the traditional school system where all students are placed in one classroom — the fast learners will have to slow down to keep pace with their classmates while the slow learners will have trouble catching up with the lessons. And each child has different learning aptitudes in the different subjects (some learn math faster while others are better in languages). However, wouldn't homeschooling prevent your child from learning within social circles and from interactions with their classmates? Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.
The human race did very well before people were forced into schools for their education. They did not need to learn “within social circles” other than the learning they did as part of a community and being a member of that community. They did not need interaction with their classmates; just interaction with others. The majority of people were educated at home and had plenty of interaction within their family but also in the community around them. I think now of the well-to-do in places like England–the children were usually educated at home by a governess or hired tutor. Sometimes these children had no other children to interact with at all. This did not stop them from becoming well brought-up people who could function in society.
That said, the homeschoolers I know usually have at least two children. There is built-in social interaction within the family. And since they aren’t expected to sit quietly at their desks and to NOT talk to each other, they do learning activities together. Not to mention that there are plenty of field trips that homeschoolers go on where the kids have to work together to do things. And there are clubs and other organized activities for kids to participate in with other students. Not that everybody necessarily participates, but those who feel the need for more interaction can easily obtain it.
But back to my first point, people in the past did not need to spend 35 hours a week with same-aged peers in order to have their social needs met. We still do not need that. We have become so used to having our children constantly surrounded by a multitude of others it’s hard to see that it’s not even necessary. Of course, then there’s the other question of “Is it even desirable?”.
ADDED: I never answered your question about it being better or not. There’s no fixed answer for that one. For some families, homeschooling is better; for others, conventional. For some families, homeschooling is better for a while then conventional. It’s not a black-and-white issue.
The news media has indicated that home schooling is more
educational for the child and has even indicated that more of
them are accepted into college. My wife’s sister has six that
are being home schooled. One has graduated and spent a
year in Japan, teaching English to the Japanese, returned home and is taking classes in proffesional photography. this fall, she is going to a collage somewhere down south. We have two others in the family teaching theirs. go for it!!!
Yes, if you’re dedicated to the kids. There’s all kinds of curriculum out there or you can unschool. The social thing is crap, it’s an idea widely pushed by the traditional schoolers. When you’re kids get a job, will they be sitting around all day with other people their same age waiting for someone to tell them what to do? Usually there are homeschool groups within your area or at least a YMCA and other children friendly activities. Most states have laws that allow homeschool kids to participate in local public school classes and activities such as sports & drivers ed. We’ve homeschooled for about 5 years now & it’s awesome. My kids are 15,13 & 10 & don’t want to go to public school. We’ve had them in baseball, football, soccer, basketball, archery and art. We take field trips whenever we want & use every chance we get as a learning opprotunity for them. They have much better interaction and learning from a diverse group than kids the same age & basic social status. The +’s outweigh the -‘s, 10 to 1!!!
I’ve added some links at the bottom that may help. Remeber, it’s about the kids…if you don’t want the gov’t to make them cookie-cutter kids, think about homeschooling. Don’t think I’m a anti-gov’t freak, I’m active duty AF!
IMO homeschool is better. I have two children.. one is in first grade this year and the other will begin kindergarten this fall.
My younger son will actually sit with us at times and watch, listen and ask questions while his brother works and has learned a lot just from that.. public schooled children don’t get that opportunity.
As far as the inevitable question.. “socialization??” what kind of socialization is it when all they learn from peers is how to either be a bully or be bullied.. they don’t have the right clothes/shoes.. they should have a girlfriend/boyfriend in first grade.. language that mom and dad do NOT approve of and a lot of the time an attitude to go with all of it?
The socialization they get is more structured by us and we know the people and the children they socialize with. Children need to be able to socialize not just with their own age but all ages. That’s where they learn to treat everyone with respect and to use their social graces.. (manners).
I’m a homeschooler. I have a 5 yo daughter and a 3 yo son. We are just starting. We decided to homeschool because for one thing, education is a passion of mine and I want to provide the best for our children. I know my daughter is getting a much better education from me because I can, as you mentioned, tailor it to her needs. My son also has some special needs that I can make sure are met at home.
As far as the social concerns, I don’t think it’s really a big deal. If it is important to you, your children will be well socialized whether or not they attend a public school. I actually think that being homeschooled better prepares them for life in the “real world” where they will face people from all age groups and backgrounds and have to relate well to them all. My kids have plenty of friends their own age because it’s important to us and we make it a priority. They also get along well with kids both older and younger than they are, and can even get along with adults and be pleasant (although they do still act like the 3 and 5 yo that they are!! 🙂 )
I’ve also noticed that my daughter has not picked up some of the “attitude” that some of her public school friends have, and she does not despise her younger brother like some of them do. In fact, they have a very close bond and I love to watch the two of them work things out together and learn together. It’s very special.
I know that homeschooling is not possible for every family. Also, I don’t think that a parent who is reluctant to do it should. But, I do think that the benefits of homeschooling are so great that it should definitely be considered by anyone who can possibly do it…the rewards of spending all that time with your children are an investment that will last a lifetime!
My children are currently in public schools but I feel compelled to answer.
Let’s pretend you have a 10 year old child.
Why is it thought that a 10 year old needs to be with 200 other 10 year olds to learn social skills?
Unless a child is kept inside the home for ALL of their developing years, there is no reason why they will not have social skills.
I know that a lot of my social skills were learned from the ADULTS in my life who were a much better influence that the kids at my school.
If you think homeschooling is for you I would definately reccommend it. You will have so much special, precious time with your child and be able to create such wonderful memories.
Where I live, homeschooled children are able to participate in any after school activities for free. You can do that or sign them up for other programs through the YMCA, etc, for socializing.
Ack, the “S” word again. How many times do we have to go over this? My son is better socialized and has better social skills than his B&M peers. He’s in the community more with *all* ages, not just those in the artificial environment with 25 other kids his age. There are too many rules in school about not talking or goofing off – how can they really socialize – 15 minutes at recess??????
My son has *plenty* of friends and they’re from all different social classes, different ages, different religions, and different schooling. He sees one group of HS’ed kids weekly at co-op and then again at math club. He sees some public kids at cub scouts. He plays with the neighborhood kids. He is with kids of all ages at indoor or outdoor track or cross country. He’s with a different set at bible club (one church) and other kids at church (different one) events.
He has many adult friends – the public librarians, his sister and I’s physical therapists, my doctors (converses with them all the time), the education specialist at the zoo and the children’s museum, the retired neighbors down the street, his math mentor, on and on.
He also has online friends he chats with via IM or the web cam, plays chess and other games with them, converses with other mentors – the possibilities are endless.
FWIW, yes he’s HS’ed because he’s very advanced academically and a B&M school setting will never work for him. His sister is in PS because that’s what works for her – due to other needs.
HS’ing is done for many reasons and that varies by family and by child. It’s not for everyone, just as public or private schooling isn’t for everyone.
In response to Mikki’s answer: homeschooled high schoolers don’t get a GED, they get a diploma just like the public school kids. And since they get a better education, they have better college and job opportunities.
Personally, I believe that although homeschooling may adjust to the child’s learning curve a little better, I do think that public schools definitely have their benefits as well. I used to work in a daycare/ preschool and just seeing the difference between the children that spent more time around different people, whether in daycare or have big families, it was much easier for them to become adjusted to new people and start focusing on the days teachings. Where as the children that have only been around mom, dad or maybe grandma and grandpa, it takes them longer to adjust to the environments and new peole to be comfortable enough to learn.
Same thing could happen out in the workforce, when they get a job or career.
As an overall I believe that the interaction that the public and even private schools provide can help with the child’s growth process and those interactions can help them with their future.
I definitely think both have their advantages, but public schools now-a-days have specialized programs for those that are having difficulty keeping up. IE: all kinds of different tutor programs after school. As well as all kinds of advanced classes as well for those who learn at faster rates.
It really depends on how well the parent helps with the child’s interaction with others. Take them out more often, have people over, take them to gathering places like parks when they are young. Basically, if you keep them around more people, yet home school them… you may help to create and mold a very smart, well rounded individual.
Ultimately, the choice is yours to make, but don’t forget that sometimes, when they are old enough to make some decisions on their own, they might ask about the alternitive teaching methods as well. Just remember to take their considerations as well. That in itself can help with their growth as well.
Honestly, some of you folks crack me up with your opinions of public schools. Like today’s public school system is some sort of wondrous experience in social training. Did any of you go to public school? What I remember was more about survival than social graces. The peer pressure to do wrong is smothering. You really want to send your child to a place where they have to go through metal detectors before they get their “social training”? Or maybe some of you were in school when there use to be some semblance of order and discipline. Trust me, those days are long gone. The “students” run the schools now. Don’t believe me? Try to discipline a child in public school and see how long it takes the ACLU to come knocking on your door. Now I realize that not all schools are war zones. But none can compare to the one on one attention that a loving parent who is dedicated to their child’s success can offer. Home schooling is hard work and takes constant dedication and sacrifice. But those who persevere find the rewards truly worth it.
no, the child can take dance, art or other lessons with a group. also. play team sports and belong to the scouts for peer interaction
If done right, homeschooled children get *social circles*. My children are homeschooled, and spend time with a lot of different people every day. They have sports, playgroups, scouts, swim lessons at the Y, and we recently joined 4-H. So they are involved in groups. I can’t say either is better, because (just like in life) nothing works for every person.
THERE ARE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES FOR BOTH HOMESCHOOLING AND THE CONVENTIONAL SYSTEM.
CONVENTIONAL SYSTEM WINS OUT ON THE ADVANTAGE SIDE.
JUST IMAGINE THE BENEFITS FOR A KID TO SOCIALIZE WITH OTHER KIDS AND THE LEARNING HE/SHE SHALL HAVE TO UNDERGO IN A SCHOOL SHALL EMPOWER HIM WHEN HE/SHE GROWS UP. HIS/HER ERRORS/MISTAKES ARE PART OF THE LEARNING PROCESS THROUGH WHICH KIDS NEED PARENTAL GUIDANCE. SUBJECTING THE KIDS TO SOCIAL EXPOSURE WOULD MORE THAN THE CONFINES OF HOME ENLIGHTEN THEM OF THE INTRICACIES OF LIFE.
I know that it is superior to the schooling in this area. As for the social aspect, it is MUCH better.
Do a little research on the computer and just type in “Homeschoolers and socialization.” Larry Shyers has some good articles as well.
I emailed this to Rebecca, but thought it would be worth posting here as well:
I just wanted to comment on your answer. As the wife of an police officer, I take offence to you throwing your dads profession into your answers. My husband is also an officer and it is one of the reasons I home school. He sees what goes on first hand in the schools and the fact there is little learning going on there. I am glad that you have a good school; maybe if we did the choices would be different to us.
My kids will be in college in the 11th grade thanks to dual enrollment, so stop trying to tell me that they wont get a highly deserved and respected diploma. This path has already been carved out by several students in our home school group. We have 4 alone in my group that have graduated and moved on. Two have finished college and are married to lovely women, one has kids. The other is graduating college and going into the military as an officer. I have seen first hand that it works.
If you are truly interested in the facts, maybe you need to do a little research before you try to answer something you don’t really know much about. Anything by Larry Shyers would be a good start. He too did not believe home schooling was a good idea until he did research that proved it. As I replied in one of my answers, and I am sure your dad, (if he is a cop) will attest to, is that cops work with the lowest part of humanity for the most part. There are going to be bad apples in every group, even home schooling. You can’t judge the whole group by a few cases.
Respectfully
I think homeschooling is great, for all the reasons you noted. Children will still have plenty of time to socialize with friends once their lessons are over, and will not have to put up with all the peer pressures that are so prevalent in school stoday. Note, it will also help the parent and child grow closer, especially during adolescent years when kids and their families often grow apart.
yes it would very much….they would lack many social skills compared with the conventional..i’ve lived in many neighborhoods where my neighbors had kids that went to both types of schooling….comparing them, i noticed many differences in the homs school kids including generalty social skills and activites…. home school kids just seem to be strange kids for the most part…..yes, they offer programs with other home school kids activites to participate in, but they will never gain the social skills experience as the conventional
It depends on the parent. Most people are not qualified to be teachers for anyone’s kids, including their own. You’re right about social issues – it’s nearly impossible to socialize your child properly if the person they see most of the time is you. Of course, some consider this a good thing, since it isolates the child from the superficiality of schools today, but if you can find a quality school then I suggest you allow the professional teachers to do their jobs. They majored either in education or the subjects that they teach, and (anywhere with a decent school system) they know what they’re doing more than you do.
homeschooling keeps you from a good social life
u miss out on being a kid
I sent my little girl to preschool and kindergarten. Then I home schooled her between 1st grade and 8Th grade. She is on top of her class, and still gets the social circle. She is very glad that I home schooled her for It helps her in High School. (i would prefer if you dont homeschool her in high school, otherwise she only gets a GED instead of a diploma, less college and job oppurtunitys.)
I attend a public high school and have been in public school all my life. I am graduating this year and could attend college if I wanted to. Instead, I am joining the Army along with my boyfriend who will graduate this June. After 4 years in the Army I plan to continue with my career goals. Now even though I love science and mathmatics and might consider taking those subjects part time towards a degree, my plan is to be a good wife and mother and love my special boy (he’ll be a man than) and produce from my body his beautiful children and be a full time stay at home mom.
Now what I noticed about the home school answerers is that they must all be full time stay at home moms. Otherwise how could they design all these wonderful lessons for their children. Also, if they are not as I just said, what do their children do during the day if they are gone from the house and the children have finished their lessons?
What about the children who don’t have the benefit of a stay at home mom? What about the children who don’t have the type of moms who are highly motivated? Perhaps whenever the school trys to find out why the child checked out of the school the parent turns down the tv set or the computer while telling the school administrator that the child is being home schooled.
And this business about a diploma. Do you think that a pretty certificate from a mother lead school will impress anyone as being proof that their chilld is a graduate? I challenge those of you that are advocates for home schooling to tell me about the children who check out for homeschool and wind up not in college, but rather on the street corner. Perhaps they have a handy answer when confronted by the police for loitering. “I’m being home schooled and my lessons are done” My dad is a police officer and he often tells me about different aspects of his job. (My dad and I are very close). He says that the courts require a juvenile who has committed a crime to enroll in a school. It may not be a traditional high school but I promise you it is not a mother lead home school.
This is a response to Melissa
First I take offense that you would invoke your husband’s job as a police officer (if he really is a cop). Secondly, anyone who is not attending a public school or an accredited private school is a dropout. Now my understanding of the law in this area is that a minor must attend school until they reach their 17 th birthday. Also minors must study certain subjects; these include a “birds and bees” class in the 5th grade, a class on health issues in middle school, a class on health issues with a focus on std(s) in high school, government and history. Has your 11th grade student taken these subjects? Also how can he/she be in the 11th grade if you are providing the education? Is this a decision you made or is it based on something? Your son who is going in the military service is receiving a college degree from an accredited college. Until he receives his degree he cannot join. I will be able to join the military when I graduate this June with a high school diploma.
My mom is a full time stay at home mom. She’s always really busy. I think if I asked her to home school me and devote M-F 8am to 3pm to my education she would immediately schedule an appointment for me to make sure I was not taking drugs. It seems that for this home school thing to work you would not be able to hold a job, your house would never be cleaned, and your family would eat a lot of pizza and take out chinese food.
Many answerers expressed an opinion that home school is superior to public school because their children are not influenced negatively by their peers. Well I hope they have parental controls on the computer. Sitting in front of the computer surfing the web is probably a lot worse than a few dopey friends.
The only reason I could see to home school a child is because many public schools have safety issues on campus. I think schools must have full time police officers and aggresively pursue students who commit crimes in order to make the environment safer and more peaceful for the majority of students (even the dopey ones) who want to learn. My school is relatively safe (at least I thought). Last week I got in trouble with my AP Chemistry teacher because I cracked a joke that he should visit the zoo to see his relatives in the monkey cage when he started talking about Evolution instead of Chemisty. He sent me to the Dean’s Office. That was a real education. First it felt like a police station with radios blaring. It also was extremey uncomfortable because I was wearing shorts that day (the weather was kind of nice) and these guys were staring at my legs. Anyway I signed a reminder about the school rules and was told to apologize to the teacher. With better security, I’m sure that most people who took their children out of public school because of a concern for their safety and well being would return them.